Mental Melissa
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One in Five suffer with Mental Illness.
​How does it affect your life?


Turning My Life Around

6/16/2019

1 Comment

 
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I received an email that my local grocery store was having a hiring fair yesterday. I had applied online, but as we all know if you aren't standing in front of them, you are just a name and number. So I gussied myself up and walked in. I was so nervous it was physical shaking and I couldn't relax my shoulders.  He interviewed us standing in line. OMG it was nerve racking. 

He had several Customer Clerk positions available, aka grocery baggers and buggie corralers. I said sure and he said he would call me at the end of the fair to come back up to complete the paperwork. Sure enough I got the job. This was the moment the panic began. What the fuck have I done? Like I need anymore stress and anxiety in my life. What had I done. 

I was trying to let go and let God. Breathing in, breathing out. I don't know when I start, but it is after a background check. Then the training begins and then I will be on the floor. 

It is a blessing, I know this. 20 hours in the evening and weekend. I haven't stayed up until 9 pm in years. Not sure how I am going to manage this. The grocery store is very close to home so I cannot complain about that. It is all perfect. 

The problem is, I am not perfect. I am a big mess of nerves and fears. Why am I so afraid to go bag groceries for a couple of hours, a couple nights a week.  The mental game is the part of anxiety that is the worst. I probably have a week or more before anything starts and that is a long time to be lost in my head.

​However, I can say, I got the job!
1 Comment
Dyane
6/17/2019 09:04:07 am

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so dang proud of you. This is big. I'd feel incredibly nervous too. You're going to do a great job - if you can create an awesome podcaast/blog & write the way you do, you can do anything.

Your title is spot-on - this significant & courageous (yes, courageous) step is the way of turning your life around in the direction that will lead you where you want to go!

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    I am Mental Melissa and I have Bipolar. I am looking to connect with others suffering with this disease and the people who take care of us!

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