Do you feel this?
I sure as hell do. Is this why we can't sleep with out some sort of pill?
Have you ever known peace that would allow you to sleep at night and stay asleep? I can't remember a time I haven't struggled with sleep. As far back as middle school I remember tossing and turning for far too long each night. I started self medicating with drugs and alcohol around 12 years old. That is how I found sleep through most of my teens and twenties. By my thirties, I was being prescribed Ambien to sleep. I long for peace that would allow my soul to rest. What would it feel like to lay down in bed and fall asleep naturally instead of the medicated wave that smashes against my skull knocking me under.
"Someone said " A lot of people struggle with sleep because sleep requires peace."
I feel this down to my toes. I want peace but I don't think those of us with bipolar ever really get peace. We get meds. Sleep requires meds, even when I am level, sleep requires meds. Does that mean I am severely screwed up? Probably, but I would like peace. I think on it often and cling to The Serenity Prayer as my only road map to being at peace and being present. Some days I am able to accept the things I cannot change and some days I get really hung up trying to change others and trying to change the outcome of things outside of my power.
I am going to let my mind continue to simmer on this idea of being at peace and how that relates to those of us with mental illness.
I hope you find peace tonight!