So damn tired

www.bustle.com

"If you're always tired in the morning, despite getting the recommended eight hours of shut eye, it may be a sign of anxiety."

I rarely feel rested throughout the day, especially the afternoon, even after a decent nights sleep. Time to ask my doctor about the level my anxiety is reaching.  I know I am filled with anxiety when I think of driving, being in the grocery store, having to see my ex husband, driving at night, money, my car, my tires, my children's future, rent, ticks (New one as I plan on camping this summer.), avalanches, rock slides, mud slides, driving around blind curves, driving when it rains, snows, or there is fog, looking over the edge of anything, drones going over the edge of a canyon and taking video that I am seeing in real time, someone near me looking over the edge of anything, ladders, strange dogs, spiders, stairs and not having a safety net.

Some of these are logical and some of these are not. My mind can't differentiate between the two. All it knows if I am scared and it amps up my fear.   Some days I feel like I bounce from fear to fear to fear, all day long. 

I lay down to sleep and most of these fears pop onto the screen that is my mind and they play out in the worst case scenario with myself or my loved ones as the main character. I try to shake my head and start four count breathing, but some days nothing works and I feel consumed by the fear. 

Today I made it out of the house and to the grocery store to pick up two things I forgot to get earlier this week while shopping with my boyfriend.  Today, so far, I did not get held down by my anxiety.