I have been getting so many pointed signs recently that it is time for me to make my next decision, and act upon it. If I am reading my life correctly, the area I need to make a change in is my career. I have tried working at home, scheduling and while it is good for my kids, it is not good for me. I need people, not crickets chirping. I know there are things I could be doing, but I can't bring myself to get to them.
Today's sign was on Instagram by @namibucks. "Just because things could've been different doesn't mean they'd be better."
This is the fear and guilt I carry around with me over the two handfuls of bad decisions I have made in my 47 years. My anxiety plays these movie scenarios over and over and over again to help me really understand how stupid I am for making stupid choices. Especially the ones e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e told me not to make because it would be a stupid decision.
Don't have the magic wand or spinning necklace to go backward to change a damn things, so my options are to do nothing and stay where I am at. Or, to take some baby steps forward to see what awaits me.
Who here likes to step forward into the unknown? Sure as fuck, not me.
But, I am doing it. One little baby step at a time. I have found about 3 part-time positions a day for the past couple of days that I have applied for. I have already received my first rejection email. That really sucked. Right out the gate a rejection. I am trying to trust it was for the best and a better fit is out there waiting for me. The last time I was looking for work, I had a new job in less than a week. I know that is not normal, but it was the right job opening at the exact moment I was ready.
I have some specifics time wise due to my children still being school age that narrow down the companies I can work for. I will keep you posted on how this goes.