Can you see the repetition in options and opportunities that walk into your life? I sure can. Things are going smooth and pretty damn well and then boom, I pounce through my stable life like Godzilla. I burn down everything as I walk away. It is not pretty, but it is one part of my story I keep repeating.
I can see the repetition in my life. I have not been able to figure out how to make the changes needed to break the cycle. This applies to friends, bosses, significant others and with my parents.
This lesson of learning is one I am tired of receiving lessons on. I am ready to break this cycle, but it is happening one part of my life at a time. I can see if with my children who are pushing me so hard. More importantly I have learned to pick my battles. To weigh if what I will say will make a difference or even be understood. I am letting them be an adult and that is hard to do for me. I want to guide and lead my children to the safest possible place. They seem to want to choose the most difficult path with little reward, or short term reward. I am working on not taking what they say or does personally. They are their choices and they will provide their own consequences. I find myself ready to open my mouth and then having to shut it and relax my face. A small step forward for me. From time to time I mess up and voice my concern and am treated to a swift lesson of my children telling me how stupid I am to worry. They have it all under control.
The serenity prayer is said in my head when things get heated.