Mental Melissa
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Resources

One in Five suffer with Mental Illness.
​How does it affect your life?


Am I sick enough?

5/15/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
Do you ever feel like you aren't sick enough to warrant the handful of pills you take or that since you haven't been to a treatment facility that you aren't sick enough?  I do. I am a high functioning bipolar 2. I take pills in the morning and I take pills in the evening and those normally allow me to pass as moody but normal. Except for those times when I am swinging too high or too low. Even then they aren't high or low enough for hospitalization. 

It makes me feel like a bipolar failure. Most people would never guess my diagnosis. Only recently did my family believe I am bipolar since I seem so normal.  And that was after trying to bring them up to speed on the definition of bipolar. 

Am I hiding it too well? It seems like a lot of effort to take the time to express the awful feeling that drown me when I am down and I feel like they will lock me up. Don't want that due to my control issues. I don't like to hear their breath or see their face as I tell them how I feel or what is going on in my head. It is too private.

​Even when I was sleeping my life away and not eating or bathing I didn't think I needed help. I was almost 5 months into a major depression episode before I called my doctor. The first thing she said is "you shouldn't have waited this long."  "You know better."  Obviously I don't.

How long do you wait to call your doctor? Can you even get in quick enough? What do you say to your doctor? I feel like a fake when I say I am fine. I am glad she knows better. Plus my river of tears always give me away. What is the longest you have gone in a high or low without reaching out for help? Message me in the comments!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    I am Mental Melissa and I have Bipolar. I am looking to connect with others suffering with this disease and the people who take care of us!

    Archives

    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Resources