Am I sick enough?

Do you ever feel like you aren't sick enough to warrant the handful of pills you take or that since you haven't been to a treatment facility that you aren't sick enough?  I do. I am a high functioning bipolar 2. I take pills in the morning and I take pills in the evening and those normally allow me to pass as moody but normal. Except for those times when I am swinging too high or too low. Even then they aren't high or low enough for hospitalization. 

It makes me feel like a bipolar failure. Most people would never guess my diagnosis. Only recently did my family believe I am bipolar since I seem so normal.  And that was after trying to bring them up to speed on the definition of bipolar. 

Am I hiding it too well? It seems like a lot of effort to take the time to express the awful feeling that drown me when I am down and I feel like they will lock me up. Don't want that due to my control issues. I don't like to hear their breath or see their face as I tell them how I feel or what is going on in my head. It is too private.

​Even when I was sleeping my life away and not eating or bathing I didn't think I needed help. I was almost 5 months into a major depression episode before I called my doctor. The first thing she said is "you shouldn't have waited this long."  "You know better."  Obviously I don't.

How long do you wait to call your doctor? Can you even get in quick enough? What do you say to your doctor? I feel like a fake when I say I am fine. I am glad she knows better. Plus my river of tears always give me away. What is the longest you have gone in a high or low without reaching out for help? Message me in the comments!